Don't Believe All You Read

What is it about men and their height? I am yet to meet a man who doesn't add at least 2 inches to their height. I think its the same as a woman reducing her weight but the height is a bit obvious, isn't it?

I have been browsing several online dating sites and lo, I tell you, it seems the world is full of short men. At 5'10, all I am asking for it to find a man I can look up to - not down at- and this is proving an impossible feat. Actually, I have two main requirements - one, that he'd be at least 5'11 (then I'll wear flats when we're together) and he should be educated (so we can discuss the themes, models and matrixes of superficial concepts) To get someone  at the right age with these two attributes is like looking for icicles in the desert. Its either one of them on a man old enough to be my father or young enough to be my child's brother!

Don't even get me started on the education bit. I joined this website that had photos of really hot looking men. Looking at their profiles, I saw that quite a large number of them had minimum Bachelor degree. Some had Masters and a few with Phd. I thought, there might be hope here for me. So I started enjoying all the site had to offer - sending interests back and forth.

That is until I started communicating - by email - with these so called graduates that could not string a correct sentence in English without errors. At first I'd think it was typo. I have this habit of looking at the keyboard when I notice a spelling mistake, just to see if the writer accidentally pressed the wrong key beside the one they meant to press. For example, clicking 'storu' instead of 'story'. U is beside Y so they could have slipped fingers. But if they types 'storie' then I know its intentional.

Okay, I admit, I have a bit of a problem there but I CAN'T stand bad grammar when its written. It gives me migraine. Its bad enough speaking it but at least you can pretend not to notice but if its written down, its proof that won't go away. In the same way, I don't like people writing in short hand or slang. If I don't know you or 'meeting' you for the first time, at least give me the curtesy of completing your sentences. Gosh, you should see some of the emails I have been getting. Example, 'I thnk your gr8 lukin'. Those mails go to instant deletion. There was this guy that kept on sending me messages in very bad broken English and I felt tempted to ask him where he got his 'Masters' degree. Why do people have to lie about such things thiking they won't be found out later?

Which brings me to the issue of the different shades of truth on online dating sites. I found this interesting looking guy with a solid profile. He was 6'2, (happy days) looked really fit, never married, no children, full time employment and had a BA. The fact that he didn't write any profile in his own word did not put me off so when he asked to contact me, I willing obliged. We chatted for a while and the conversation flowed nicely. He asked me some questions about me that I had answered on my profile - like had I ever been married or did I have a child, to which I referred him to my profile. It was either that he had contacted so many people he didn't know which was which or he didn't read the profile - just clicked on a pretty face. Something didn't feel right. So I asked if he had children and he said yes - 2 grown up children. OK... 'Ever been married?' Yes, he was married. He said he got divorced 5 years ago and he is just ready to do it all again. At that point, I lost all interest because he lied about everything. He confessed, jokingly that the only real thing about his profile was his name! He was very dismissive about what he'd done and I told him it was false advertisement. I wouldn't have been interested if I'd known these and the fact that he lied, there was no way I could trust him. So, it was bye-d-byes for us.
Back to the drawing board.

All About The Weight

After a long silence from Website A, I got a note from a member asking me what I was studying. I mean, of all the information that I had on my profile, that was the most important question for him. A cursory glance at his profile gave nothing away. You see, some people take advantage of the free membership and post incomplete profiles that make no sense. I blame the website for featuring profiles that are 30% complete - only has their barest details - are they so desperate to fill their bandwidth?


Any how, I decided not to waste my time answering. Although if I had answered it would have been something like, 'Aeronautical Engineering - Is there money in that?'. Okay, okay, maybe the poor lad just wanted to make conversation and didn't know where to start. He meant it as an ice-breaker. Then he should have used the pre-loaded format. The websites always have one-liner chat-up formats for those that are verbally challenged. Do I need someone like that? No.


So to the waist, I mean weight issue. I have a secret. Between you and I, I'll tell you what my weight is. A bit of background information is needed before I go on.


Some blue moons ago, I used to be a rather svelte young lady with all the elegance of a model. Then I found out about food. I could eat anything. In fact I loved cooking so much that if I eat anything from anywhere in the world, I could replicate it without being taught how to. I also didn't like throwing food away. No sir! Everything went into the waste bin of my waist. (pardon the pun)


Working from home also gave me few chances to exercise - the fact that I have membership at a local gym and a room full of exercise equipment to put a small gym to shame doesn't count. I just did not have enough motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle.


As my weight grew, so did my love life - in the opposite direction. First he made excuses about being tired and then he didn't even bother. I remember him saying on occasions that even if he felt like it, he only had to take a look at me to visualize what he would be handling and that would just kill his ardor. So he couldn't be bothered anymore. I actually find that funny now but it wasn't at that time. The more he nagged me about my weight, the more I found comfort in ice-cream and chocolate. I would derive more satisfaction from a bar of chocolate than the half-hearted attempt at love-making that was going on.


I used to feel so down and unwanted. And yet, I had so many men passing me comments and wanting to be with me. I mentioned this to my dear ex and he said, ‘well you look very well when you are all covered up. I bet they don’t know what I am dealing with!’ Oh, he said some other gems, but this is not about him so I won’t go there. Here I am, a very strong woman, with my own business, depend on no one, and yet, I let someone bring me down to the point that I was bulimic. I knew something hard to give.


I started a good eating plan, ditched the car for buses and long treks and I can see the improvement already. Now my motivation is me, and not because I want to please someone who had his own issues, I am a lot happier and hopefully the weight will continue to fall of and stay off.


Now the reason why I am sharing my weight is so that I can be shamed into keeping it like so. I weighed in before at 95kg (209lb) and at present, I have gone down to 92kg (202lb). It doesn’t look that bad on me though because I am quite tall and the curves are well distributed. How is that for self- appreciation? I have really come a long way!


So when I got to the part of ‘body type’ in the online registration from for the dating website, I proudly tick, ‘with a few extra’. I’ll be damned if someone clicks me thinking I am a slim, portable size to find out later on otherwise. Also, I am not going to let a man determine my weight ever again. I am neither fat nor slim, but I am HAPPY!