The "Date"

A lot has happened since the last time I was here when I told you about someone asking me to go for coffee. I accepted to go with him so I could come out of my many years hiatus. 
We agreed to meet in the coffee shop of a popular hotel right in the centre of the city.
First, I was at a quandry about what to wear but eventually settled for a pair of skinny jeans, a top and boots - kind of smart casual appearance and also comfortable. I didn't want to go all out because I suspected there would be no point. I already had my doubts about my date anyway and I didn't want to put myself out too much. (I could be such a bitch sometimes!)
I notified my dearests and closests about the date, venue, time, etc. and many times I felt like cancelling out but everyone was like, 'just go'. I got one of them to call me with an 'emergency' 20 minutes into the date in case I need to bolt.
Then, typically me, I started fantasising that maybe it won't be all that bad. Maybe he deliberately misled me into being a frog and will indeed turn out to be a Prince afterall - at least its happened before in Dysneyland. 
We were meant to meet at 4 or so but I was in the area - 'casing the joint' - 30 minutes earlier. I went into a coffee shop over looking our rendevouz point and from there I I had my stake-out. I had a perfect view of the enterance so I could see who went in and out. 
I was prepared for the worst so any body - short of a bum that I saw going into the hotel was me prospective date. I was afraid that I was just going to run away before the time. 
Eventually, I saw someone that looked like the photo I saw on the website. The photo did not lie! Nor was he a Prince. I watched him for nearly 5 minutes, debating if I should go down or not. Then he called me. (we had exchanged numbers earlier in case we were running late or something)
So I got up and walked to him. First impression, (well, second) he was  wearing a football jersey over a pair of slacks and a massive windcheater. My dad wears a pair of slacks! Not looking good..
I can't remember if we hugged or shook hands, but he was nice. I decided, well, I'm here, so I'd better relax and enjoy the afternoon. And that was what I did. 
We went inside and ordered coffee. The conversation was general but I was able to gather that my 40 year old date, who looked a lot older than that, had no job, a series of health problems, dependant issues and verging on football fanatic. However, I found him to be quite nice and the conversation flowed, even though I knew nothing would come out of it. I told him about my studies and business and he remarked, 'beauty and brains, eh?' 
On 20 minutes cue, my friend called me but I told her it was okay but asked if she could meet me in another 30 minutes so we could leave together. 
The 'date' lasted for about an hour but I enjoyed myself. Reason being that I always enjoy being with people, no matter who they are and they find it easy to talk to me. I wonder why. 
Anyway, time to go and he asked if he could see me again. Being honest and upfront (tsk, tsk, tsk) I told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment. He said he's fine with being friends so I said, fine, as friends then. We said our goodbyes and I was thinking 'that went well'.
I made sure my friend saw him so that it wouldn't be that I was making excuses later when I tell them that I wasn't going to see the guy again. We mutually came to the conclusion that he was not the one to bring me out of the hiatus.
The search continues..........

All About The Weight

After a long silence from Website A, I got a note from a member asking me what I was studying. I mean, of all the information that I had on my profile, that was the most important question for him. A cursory glance at his profile gave nothing away. You see, some people take advantage of the free membership and post incomplete profiles that make no sense. I blame the website for featuring profiles that are 30% complete - only has their barest details - are they so desperate to fill their bandwidth?


Any how, I decided not to waste my time answering. Although if I had answered it would have been something like, 'Aeronautical Engineering - Is there money in that?'. Okay, okay, maybe the poor lad just wanted to make conversation and didn't know where to start. He meant it as an ice-breaker. Then he should have used the pre-loaded format. The websites always have one-liner chat-up formats for those that are verbally challenged. Do I need someone like that? No.


So to the waist, I mean weight issue. I have a secret. Between you and I, I'll tell you what my weight is. A bit of background information is needed before I go on.


Some blue moons ago, I used to be a rather svelte young lady with all the elegance of a model. Then I found out about food. I could eat anything. In fact I loved cooking so much that if I eat anything from anywhere in the world, I could replicate it without being taught how to. I also didn't like throwing food away. No sir! Everything went into the waste bin of my waist. (pardon the pun)


Working from home also gave me few chances to exercise - the fact that I have membership at a local gym and a room full of exercise equipment to put a small gym to shame doesn't count. I just did not have enough motivation to maintain a healthy lifestyle.


As my weight grew, so did my love life - in the opposite direction. First he made excuses about being tired and then he didn't even bother. I remember him saying on occasions that even if he felt like it, he only had to take a look at me to visualize what he would be handling and that would just kill his ardor. So he couldn't be bothered anymore. I actually find that funny now but it wasn't at that time. The more he nagged me about my weight, the more I found comfort in ice-cream and chocolate. I would derive more satisfaction from a bar of chocolate than the half-hearted attempt at love-making that was going on.


I used to feel so down and unwanted. And yet, I had so many men passing me comments and wanting to be with me. I mentioned this to my dear ex and he said, ‘well you look very well when you are all covered up. I bet they don’t know what I am dealing with!’ Oh, he said some other gems, but this is not about him so I won’t go there. Here I am, a very strong woman, with my own business, depend on no one, and yet, I let someone bring me down to the point that I was bulimic. I knew something hard to give.


I started a good eating plan, ditched the car for buses and long treks and I can see the improvement already. Now my motivation is me, and not because I want to please someone who had his own issues, I am a lot happier and hopefully the weight will continue to fall of and stay off.


Now the reason why I am sharing my weight is so that I can be shamed into keeping it like so. I weighed in before at 95kg (209lb) and at present, I have gone down to 92kg (202lb). It doesn’t look that bad on me though because I am quite tall and the curves are well distributed. How is that for self- appreciation? I have really come a long way!


So when I got to the part of ‘body type’ in the online registration from for the dating website, I proudly tick, ‘with a few extra’. I’ll be damned if someone clicks me thinking I am a slim, portable size to find out later on otherwise. Also, I am not going to let a man determine my weight ever again. I am neither fat nor slim, but I am HAPPY!