Saturday, January 15, 2011

E- Dating and What Have You

I have just recently come out of a long term relationship that had been going stale for a looonnngg time. It hadn't done well for my self esteem so I needed to get back to the dating scene quickly so I could feel appreciated and loved. Boo hoo!

A quick survey of the pickings around me showed how slim or in fact non existent they were. Approaching 40 and slightly over-weight, the chances of meeting a dashing tall dark and handsome type was very slim indeed. All the men around me were married and to be honest, even if they weren't there was NONE of them I found the slightest bit attractive anyway.

So, I decided to try out online dating websites.

Now, I am a strong proponent of everything Internet. I shop online, pay my bills, play games, work, study, etc. I live my life online. So since I spend most of my waking hours on the computer, where else to start my search for the perfect guy?
I listed my pros and cons.

On the plus side;

  • I am attractive - I scrub up nicely, I daresay!
  • Educated with several degrees
  • Witty
  • Look a lot younger than my age - prone to immaturity!
  • Intelligent
  • Economically viable (!!!) - shhhh.....don't tell the banks!
  • Considerably fun to be with - bags of laughter!
  • Enterprising - can sell sand to the Arabs
  • Dependable
  • Honest-to-God

On the down side;
  • Fickle minded
  • Getting old
  • A bit crazy
  • Overweight (an avid yo-yo dieter)
  • Head in the cloud
  • Watch too many crime documentaries so have trust issues
I looked around and it seems the ones across the pond were more 'serviced' - as in there appeared to be quite a lot of member photos with recent online dates on them. I wanted to maintain my anonymity so, leaving out my photo, I took out the free trial membership for a couple of the websites. I am not going to mention which websites these are but in the course of this blog, I am going to record my experience as I go along. Who knows what may happen after all!

Just so we are clear before I go on

1. Sadly, I am not over my ex

2. I am not looking for a replacement yet

3. I am an incurable romantic and can change my mind at any moment!

Now that that is out of the way, I registered with website A who claimed to have a system where you are uniquely matched with your 'partner' using their special scientific formula, based on your mutual attributes. Their infomercials were always spot on and you'd feel that, well if they can afford to take out these ads then they must be doing okay. So I took out the free package.

The first couple of days after I signed on,  I was 'talking' to other singles in my neighborhood.  You know, I'd be online and someone would say 'hey' and I would 'hey' back. Before going into stories, I'd quickly check their profile to see if any dodgy stuff would ring up alarm bells. If okay,  continue 'talking'. One thing about this website is that it gives you the control over who sees your photo so you start communicating with someone and if you get to the stage of exchanging photos and the person's photo is totally whack, you can make a polite exit. I don't really like that. You can read all the good things and I tell you, most people, including yours truly, think they are God's gift to the opposite sex - if beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, they must be holding themselves quite a lot! LOL! Sorry, I had to put that there.

Anyhow, bad jokes apart, there I was talking to these guys, checked out their profiles, nothing strange there until one of them released his photo and I tried to open it but couldn't because I was not a paying member. Same thing happened about 4 or 5 times and I thought, 'what the hell'. the membership fee was not that expensive and I could afford it so why not just try it? Also, there were soooo many apparently okay guys on the website. And did they not have 30 couples who met on the website married last year? So I dusted my credit card and signed up for all of 6 months membership. If I don't get a date in 6 months then I'll eat my...... no, I wont eat anything. Just give it a trial anyways. I was curious like mad to see what the guys looked like that released their photos to me.

Funny enough, as soon as I paid, the contacts dried up. Not gradually like. Instantly! While I had been having nearly daily communication from the website about this person or that match, I got nada, zilch, nil, zero.... Enough! I thought it was a coincidence and continued logging on and throwing a smile here and there. I could sense some other people's frustration from their profile status.  But I did not give up.

Then I saw a profile about a guy who listed one of his hobbies as sailing on his yacht. The photo he had on his profile looked like one from a James Bond film. Rich and handsome, eh? What would a guy like that be looking for on a dating site when he appeared to be a ‘babe magnet’? So I threw a smile his way. Right on the spot, I got a reply back in the line of, ‘oh, I see you like me. I like you too but I can’t access this website from work. Can you send me your private email so I can contact you there?’ That’s strange, coming from a guy that owns a boat. You’d think that he could access the website at home. Or, if he has to access the website at work then it’s either:
  1. He is low in the hierarchy and afraid his boss or IT might catch him out
  2. He is married and only does the web crawling away from the family computer
Either way, something wasn’t right. And come to think of it, if he was that rich, how come he wasn’t a paying member? So I replied I feel more comfortable meeting you here, thank you! And I never heard anything back.